just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
