So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
