I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just found a bag of teeth...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
