well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
