Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
