i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
