I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize