Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
