I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize