Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
