bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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