The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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