So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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