I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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