when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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