my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
