Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We don't watch enough power rangers
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
