I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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