she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
