i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
