possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
