I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
