so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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