i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
