Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
