Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
