i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
