i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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