She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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