But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
