party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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