If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
