so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
