And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
