there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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