try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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