i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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