Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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