I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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