saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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