dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
