he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
