I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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