How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
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He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
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Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention