Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg

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  (847): All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg http://tfl.nu/5dma
  Replies (3) Good night (1333) Bad night (1759)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions

  (310): View more from California

  i wish

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  (323): are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions (310): i wish http://tfl.nu/mg2v
  Replies (6) Good night (921) Bad night (2905)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them

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  (443): at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them http://tfl.nu/jmz8
  Replies (12) Good night (3795) Bad night (1098)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...

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  (715): she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over... http://tfl.nu/jqzz
  Replies (17) Good night (4802) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping

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  (570): whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping http://tfl.nu/vxfh
  Replies (24) Good night (5821) Bad night (1724)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men

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  (404): it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men http://tfl.nu/z2fi
  Replies (20) Good night (1510) Bad night (3377)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.

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  (508): There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day. http://tfl.nu/fth0
  Replies (12) Good night (3365) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone

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  (815): Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone http://tfl.nu/4nil
  Replies (6) Good night (3048) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.

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  (386): well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake. http://tfl.nu/2ev4
  Replies (8) Good night (2966) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.

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  (763): It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award. http://tfl.nu/a9wc
  Replies (3) Good night (992) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.

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  (832): The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded. http://tfl.nu/wqyp
  Replies (1) Good night (862) Bad night (1160)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.

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  (806): I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship. http://tfl.nu/hvwx
  Replies (3) Good night (829) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.

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  (401): When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train. http://tfl.nu/aqj1
  Replies (1) Good night (1209) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.

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  (925): A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas. http://tfl.nu/wou7
  Replies (4) Good night (877) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.

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  (262): Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs. http://tfl.nu/5llv
  Replies (10) Good night (699) Bad night (393)

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