Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off. http://tfl.nu/iqir
  Replies (18) Good night (7304) Bad night (1108)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes. http://tfl.nu/ehgd
  Replies (35) Good night (1098) Bad night (8139)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back. http://tfl.nu/58ah
  Replies (35) Good night (1191) Bad night (7365)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs. http://tfl.nu/7j97
  Replies (25) Good night (5824) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck. http://tfl.nu/z2xd
  Replies (2) Good night (2202) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina http://tfl.nu/2aox
  Replies (9) Good night (1317) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me. (978): Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex. http://tfl.nu/urbj
  Replies (2) Good night (1923) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me. http://tfl.nu/5d5j
  Replies (3) Good night (2086) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds. http://tfl.nu/alhy
  Replies (1) Good night (1007) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level http://tfl.nu/zu28
  Replies (5) Good night (399) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  You're a waste of cheezeits

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): You're a waste of cheezeits http://tfl.nu/fc08
  Replies (2) Good night (603) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things. http://tfl.nu/bogj
  Replies (4) Good night (263) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth." http://tfl.nu/xs9s
  Replies (1) Good night (635) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments.. http://tfl.nu/pw8d
  Replies (2) Good night (509) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey http://tfl.nu/d4k1
  Replies (1) Good night (294) Bad night (448)

Randomize