Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
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I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
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That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.