He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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