Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
