speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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