Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
