I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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