i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
