did you get engaged???
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
