Don't you send me to vm
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
