well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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