So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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