Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
