When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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