I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
