Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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