Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
we should paint friendship bongs
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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